LuAnn Carpenter & Denise Bowell: Finding Love, Finding Belonging and Helping Build a Church Where Everyone Is Welcome

Since 1998, LuAnn Carpenter and Denise Bowell have been part of the community that eventually became Harmony Creek Church.

But their story isn't simply about how long they've been here. It's about love and family. Courage and resilience. A church that hurt them—and another that
welcomed them. And it's about two people who discovered what it feels like to truly belong and have spent decades helping create that same sense of belonging for others.

Their Story Begins

LuAnn was raised Methodist and Denise Lutheran. Their paths crossed at a skilled nursing facility, where LuAnn was Director of Nursing and Denise a licensed social worker.

Both were in relationships at the time and navigating difficult seasons. Over time, their friendship grew into something deeper. They realized they loved one another and began building a life together, raising LuAnn's children, Heather and Evan, as a family.

But this was a very different time for LGBTQ+ couples.

 

There was an even more serious reason LuAnn and Denise couldn't live openly: LuAnn feared that acknowledging their relationship could jeopardize custody of her children.

Even in their own home, they maintained separate bedrooms and presented themselves as roommates. They weren't hiding because they were ashamed of their family.

They were hiding because they were trying to protect it.

 

Finding a Church Where They Belonged

While raising Evan and Heather, LuAnn and Denise attended a Methodist church. Then one Sunday, their pastor made derogatory comments about gay and lesbian people, unaware that members of the very community he was condemning were sitting in the congregation.
 

LuAnn and Denise decided they would not return.
 

For a few years, they stepped away from organized religion altogether.

Then LuAnn read an article in the Dayton Daily News about Rev. Mike Castle and Cross Creek United Church of Christ. Something about this church sounded different, so she and Denise decided to visit.

And what they discovered was something they hadn't experienced before.

They were welcomed. They felt safe. They belonged.

That first visit also introduced them to Betty Cox, who became a treasured friend and remains part of the Harmony Creek community today.

LuAnn and Denise had found their church home.
 

And they didn't just attend—they jumped in.
 

When Cross Creek outgrew its Bigger Road location and moved to Congress Park, they joined other members rolling up their sleeves and doing the hands-on work necessary to prepare their new church home.

They remember those years as an exciting time of growth and possibility. Weekend Intensives brought visiting clergy and faith leaders to explore challenging ideas about faith, theology and the world. People were encouraged to listen, think, question and grow.

For LuAnn and Denise, it was a Christianity that wasn't afraid of questions.

A Backyard Wedding—and the Freedom to Be Themselves

Years later came a moment LuAnn and Denise once couldn't have imagined.

Same-sex couples finally gained the legal right to marry.

 

After years of hiding their relationship to protect their family, LuAnn and Denise could openly celebrate the commitment they had already been living for years.
Rev. Mike Castle married them in their backyard, surrounded by more than 20 of their closest friends and family.

For two women who once maintained separate bedrooms so the outside world wouldn't discover they were a couple, that wedding represented something profound.

They could finally live openly and authentically as the family they had always been.

Loving a Church Through Change

 

Church communities, like the people within them, have joyful chapters and difficult ones.

 

The merger of Cross Creek and Oak Creek that ultimately created Harmony Creek brought significant change. There were disagreements about the congregation's direction, finances and leadership, and longtime members from both churches left.

LuAnn and Denise stayed.

Harmony Creek eventually entered another period of transition. Rev. Castle departed, Pastor Michelle Wilkey was called to lead the congregation, the church property was sold and Harmony Creek began its next chapter sharing space with Good Shepherd Lutheran Church.

Today, LuAnn believes there is value in looking back at difficult history—not to dwell on it, but to learn from it. Through her work with the Membership Committee, she is reaching out to former members and inviting them to share their experiences through a survey.

The hope is to listen, understand and perhaps even reconcile.

 

Because being a progressive church isn't only about being willing to challenge the world around us.

Sometimes it means being courageous enough to examine ourselves.

 

Why Harmony Creek Still Feels Like Home

 

After nearly three decades, ask LuAnn and Denise what they love about Harmony Creek and they talk first about people.

Some of their dearest friends are here.

 

They treasure a congregation that includes children and families, LGBTQ+ people and allies, longtime churchgoers and people exploring their faith, and individuals from many different walks of life.

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They celebrate Harmony Creek's children's and music ministries, appreciate Salon on Sundays as another way for people to connect and explore ideas, and value the growing friendship and partnership with Good Shepherd Lutheran.

And they're still contributing. Denise has served on Church Council, the Auction Committee and currently HR and fundraising. LuAnn has also served in numerous roles and currently participates in Membership, Social Justice, and fundraising.

For almost 30 years, they're still showing up.

Be a Betty

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What do LuAnn and Denise hope for Harmony Creek's future?

Growth, certainly—but not simply more people in the pews.

They want Harmony Creek to continue being a place where anyone searching for a church home can walk through the doors and discover:

You are loved.
You are safe.
You belong here.

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And when they think about what that kind of welcome looks like in human form, they think of their longtime friend Betty Cox.

They affectionately call Betty a “timeless classic”—someone who simply has a way of making people feel welcome.

Maybe that's a pretty wonderful aspiration for all of us.

 

Be a Betty.

 

Notice the newcomer. Make room for someone you don't know. Listen to another person's story.

Welcome the person who isn't quite sure church is for them.

Create the kind of community where no one feels they have to hide part of themselves before walking through the door.

Nearly 30 years ago, LuAnn and Denise went searching for a church like that.

They found it.

And they've been helping create it for others ever since.

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